Sick in my Hands....

I decided that i would take a little holiday, back at my home in Wales,when I was still in Edinburgh. I was feeling pretty ill, tired and all I wanted to do was have my mammy cook me dinner and have my dad make me watch all the, "Good Films On Sky".

So after Warren and I arrived back in Londons Kings Angry we had to dash and catch the last tube to actually make it physically HOME!....My London flat is lovely and homely, but it just wasnt good enough. I wanted mammy and Daddy! Yep I turned into an eight year old with a scraped knee...I didnt even want chocolate or Now 17, I just wanted them.

A week passed...in London...not a long time realy, when all I did was cough and attempted to sort out my sleeping pattern so I wasn`t getting hungry at 5 am in the morning or craving a crepe`. I naturally woke up one morning and booked my Mega Bus to Wales! YAY! MEGA BUS!...I really dont mind the Mega Bus (lets call it MB), Its cheap, quite comfortable and always pretty empty going to Cardiff. My MB was booked for the Wednesday week after the end of Edinburgh. 12 noon from Victoria.NICE!

The night before was the lovely Carrie Marx`sssss Birthday! We drank, sang and wore sexy waistcoats and had a lovely evening....I Belieeeeeve I got pretty drunk and was still a little tipsy when I left the Newton/Doody/Marx flat in the morning. I gently made my way to Victoria station with hand lugage sized bag on one drunken shoulder.HOT! It was! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Hot! Why now? why has the sun decided to come out now? Now that I`m leaving to go to Cats and Dogs Wales?!

The MB Driver welcomed me onto the coach " Aright Beaut!" and I sat close to the front so I had maximum vision of the road from my seat..(IMPORTANT!)....Yes the one with LOTS of leg room...its meant for wheel chairs, if they dare to board! I had an ice cold bottle of water from the coach station and 2 oranges from the Newton/Doody/Marx flat (thank you) , took my jacket and scarf off and made myself pretty comfortable. hmmmm.

2PM!!!!!! I woke up...oranges and an ice cold bottle of water still on my lap and my mobile flashing from all the missed calls of my mam. At that point, the MB wasnt the place i wanted to be AT ALL! My head hurt and i wanted my bed...ANY BED! YOUR BED!.......WHERE ARE THE BEDS??!!!...So had no other plans but to eat the oranges(thanks..lovely too!) and went back to bed...no! Sleep!...only for 5 mins this time...The MB decided at that point that it needed to be colder. The (A Bit Toooo) Welsh driver pumped up the A.C and i nearly shivered my boobs off. My ice-cold bottle of water was more like a hot water bottle! My body didnt know what the Hell was going on...

Then it began!....the WATERY MOUTH!...Yes! I was going to be SICK! .....I sat there for about the length of 20 MB`s, and tried to control this urge to be Sick. I havent been sick for a Long time and the last was over a toilet with my sister holding my hair back...normal situation. NOT AT THE FRONT OF THE MEGA BUS TO CARDIFF!

What do I do? Wait for it to pass and hope it just slides back down the gullet? Whisper to it and say, "its just not the right time"..."people will hate you! ". Pretend to be dead and when someone checks for a pulse ONLY then let it all flow out. NO! none of these would do. Me and my sheet of kitchen roll that I had used to wrap up my oranges (thank you,yes..very handy) were going to tackle this situation hands on. PHYSICALLY! I placed the sheet into my cupped hands and debated on running to the toilet at the back of the bus...but the probability of being sick over an angry Welsh woman would have been Mega high.Too high. She would have talked to me in welsh and thats the worst thing ever! I sat there and pleaded to a God, that I wouldnt be more sick than my hands could cup. Thank you "That God". It reached the brim of my thumbs. SHIT! What should I do now? ...I didnt think about the aftermath. What was I going to do with cupped hands full of sick?

So I sat with my insides in my hands for a little while, Catching my breath and pretending to others around that "i just coughed...thats all".There was only one thing i could do. EAT IT! ....NO, SERIOUSLY. I did have plan B. Plan B is what I went with. I placed the cup of sick on the floor like a new born so it wouldnt spill or cry. Used the orange peel (thank you,again!) to wipe a bit of sick from the corner of my mouth and ran to the toilet. Yes there was still a bit of sick waiting to depart The Hanbury Hole. I rolled a MB length of toilet paper around my hand and stuck it down my leggings. Did I not only have the sweet sent of sick, I also looked like i had a massive willy.SEX-Y!

I shivered back to my seat and covered, lifted and packaged my sick into a corner with my man size amount of toilet paper. It was only then that i realized i also had a little bit of sick on one of my boots.I then felt like the most classy girl on that bus! I had finally done all my prep work before getting off the bus at lovely CAERDEDD! YES! CARDIFF! I was HOME! Nearly.....still a train and another bloody bus to go.

Tom.......lovely lovely Tom.

Tom is a friend from London, whos actually a proper Welsh man.Well hes from North Wales and speaks the language very well. But has been living in London for the last 15 years and had decided to move to Cardiff to live for a while. This was nice! We had planned to have a coffee near the castle when I arrived and to have a catch up. He had only moved to Cardiff for a week, so was missing London a bit! Me Too at that point!

I told Tom all about my sick cup and how its was nice to see him and that coffee would be LOVELY! ITS WAS STILL HOT OUTSIDE! This was nice but not nice for my sicky boot. (dont worry, its all clean now, but i will point out to you where i was sick if you ever want to know....you might?!...i would)

I missed 2 of the possible trains to Bridgend, they were packed full of Wales supporters and Welsh people. Horrible! It was fine because Tom and I were taking in the culture of Cardiff! the Castle/pubs and shops. There were 3 shops that stood out at us when drinking our welsh lattes. The Welsh Information Centre, usless for me....cant speak a word. The Welsh LoveSpoon Gallery, only allowed to look...Do Not Touch!!! or BUY!!! And our favourite shop- THINGS WELSH. Yes, the Things Welsh shop is real and I demand you to go inside and see some usless things that claime to be WELSH! Like a Marolin Monroe Clock -WELSH! The London Eye album book - WELSH! A shelf of Golly Wogs in all sizes - WELSH! A random Liverpool shirt- WELSH! Cow boy hats in all shapes and sexualities - WELSH! We left after and I managed to catch a train to Bridgend. Then a bus to my mam and dads house, Hearts of Oak, Nantyffyllon, Maesteg. BRILLLLLLLIANT!

My visit/Holiday to Wales has been bloody magical to be honest with you babes. The people I grew up with and love all around me and places I spent going out on the pull were still there, but now they`re called THE ZONE or CAR PARK.

My mornings out with my mam (SUE)to Maesteg Town are always quite eventful. Forgetting that most of Wales have seen my naked body from being in Wales on Sunday for The warren & Hanbury Stunt up Arthur Seat. Alot of people cant really look me in the eyes but the ones who can REALLY DO LOOK! AND SMILE! Sue knows too many people, its not a problem, but it is when she talks to ALL of them when all we`ve got is a shopping list for potatoes and cheese. She rarely calles me Charlotte when we`re out, its mainly "Fanny" or "Trouble"....but mainly "Fanny". Its something I have only noticed since being back. A woman she was talking to today actually said "bye Sue, bye Fanny" .I should have hit her. But I didnt. I was carrying too many potatoes.

I made a new friend! His name is Twix and he belongs to next door, but Sue has started feeding him. Since Jade and Taz died, Twix has become a new addition to the family. Twix is a 11 month old Kitten/Cat. KIT KAT they should have called it! looks nothing like a twix. Im not a cat person At All, but this one is kinda nice. I still dont get the bity scrammy attraction, but this one is a bit dopy and likes to just be COOL. COOL CAT!I might get one.....a Twix..havent had one in ages! YUM!

The daddy Hanbury (GEORGE) SUE & I, Oh & Tom went to Porthcawl Town last Sunday. We had ice-cream and walked along the front (the beach)....The weather was beautiful! better than sicky bus days weather. We sat on a bench, the 4 of us...eating ice-cream like it was a Family Competition PRIZE Day Out. We ate in silence, but looked LOUDLY! The 4 of us were all watching the passers by. One little boy stopped infront of us and shouted at his dad "I DONT WANT TO WEAR MY SHOES AND I WANT SOME ICE-CREAM!". The father turned around and watched his son, who was bare footed stare at the 4 of us. At this point I knew what to do. As the boys father was putting on his sons shoes back on, I was sliding mine off and slowly ate my ice-cream! YEAH! THAT SHOWED HIM! DONT SHOUT LITTLE BOY! JUST GROW!...stupid.

Oh, nearly forgot to share IKEA with you. Now! Sue and George wanted to bring a shoe rack box back to change because they had picked up the wrong colour wood like box and this wasnt OK. So that needed to be changed. We started by talking the flat pack back and getting money back to START ALL OVER AGAIN. But we started with FREE Coffee, think my dad has learnt now that caffeen Does help when in a warehouse of stuff he doesnt need,just so he keep Sue on the right tracks.free coffee? YES! FAMILY IKEA CARD! get one! Oh, forgot. before we even got to the cafe part of Ikea, my mum had picked up a pair of yellow crocks (plastic shoes) and 2 purple umbrellas. Yes, the crocks were a present for me. THANKS MAM! REALLY! WOW! YELLOW?! right...ok. Thats when Coffee was the best segue idea. George managed to drink 5 cups, I had 2 and Sues had 2 cups of hot choc and a cup of coke.MONIES WORTH! YES! FREE!Sue also bought some pear cider,cakes, a plant and i got 50 tea light and 12 glass holders...BECAUSE I NEED THEM OK?! My friend Simon also told me that he put his picture in the display picture frames in the bedroom layouts at Ikea, so had to see if any were still there...NOT ANY MORE SIMON! ITS MY FACE NOW!

Sue had said something about going to the Cinema after Ikea and that was the only thing that was getting me through the day in a warehouse of crap. We got there pretty late and the best thing that was still showing was "JULIE & JULIA" with Meryl Streep. Good film, all about cooking and bloging and I cried a bit too. Silly! Why dont people Clap at the end of Films? I did anyway. I think its nice too and mainly because i had been quiet for too long. NOISE IS GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Before the film began, the 3 of us had a "SHHHhh" Off. I WAN! It was quite but I did it! I wanted to doit so i totally dadit! I DADIT!(New word! "DADIT")

Wales is nice.

Your nice too.