Friday 18 December 2009

"Aaaaarrrgh", I gripped onto the arms of the Dentist chair. My Father Christmas looking Dentist pulled the drill out of my ,not numb enough, mouth.

"I thought you said you couldn't feel your bottom lip when I touched it", Father Christmas questioned.

I sat there with my sleeves pulled over my hand, gripping onto them tightly. He then sat me back and gave me yet another injection. The first one was horrid. I wont go into it. I hate needles. There was definite crying. So as I was mildly numb...but not enough. The second injection was a breeze!

While sitting in the waiting room, letting my left sid of my face flop free as I read "Heat".... there was this article on a girl who had an affair with her Nanna`s boyfriend. His name was Jack and he was 66....the Girl, Keely....yep! "KEELY", was a mear 26!!! I sat there reading it with a half shocked face....the other looking more like Jacks. My Godfathers brother Kim walked in and sat next to me, he was waiting for a simple check up. He was asking me how everything was going "up there in London?", By this point the anaesthetic had started to reach the nerves near my eye. I really did start to look like I was having a stroke.

I muttered and dribbled the word "Brilllllliaaaant" hoping this would be a simple and well worth answer for Kim. It was.

5 minuets later I was "back in the chair". He smiled and pulled my sleeves up towards my elbows to prove to him I wasn't scared anymore. I'm quite chilled about it. "Punch me! Go on! I dare ya!"....Father Christmas brought the drill out instead.

I decided to go for a silver filling, apparently they last longer and look more "Street". I said "go for it dude, fill me up!!"
He continued to talk to me while fiddling in my mouth.
"I miss the great paint smell this time of year, I'm usually in a panto. My ex wife was always the leading woman, but always played children. You see she looked like a 14 year old up to the age of 40. Shes 46 now and looks, well, bad."

It was at that point I had a suspision that my Father Christmas may be a paedophill,
"Merry Christmas!" I text on my phone and showed Mr Dentist man and his assistant, then made my way to the coffee shop down stairs to meet Mrs & Mr H.

After my quaint visit to the dentist Mr, Mrs and I did some shopping and ended up in Tescos. I was freezing and still numb. Still unable to talk, I pointed to Tescos cafe and they instantly understood that I wasnt shopping that I was going to sit in there. In the Warm, with yet another coffee.

I sat and played on my phone. Old women came into the cafe and most of them looked straight at me and said " Its bloody lovely ain't it?!", "oooo, Now....yes... I like it"..
I sat there and nodded. It must be new. I did not know that.

Then the best thing that could ever happen in a Tescos, Happened.
KARAOKE!
A man from the local Opera Company of the village sang classic Christmas songs near the entrance of the store. He was raising money for some charity. Brilliant!
I turned my chair so I could watch peoples reactions as they passed the singer. PRICELESS!

He really was Tescos Christmas Special. Two till girls then sang the "Weather Girl"...one in key the other just saying the words. En-ter-tain-ment!

My mother and father had finished shopping and my mum put her name and mine down to sing. I insisted that it was "never gonna happen". I watched my mum and the man try and duet, Leona Lewis`s Hallelujah. Thanks Mam, dad went and put the shopping in the boot of the car. I stood by this man in a suit. The "Manager" of the Tescos. My mum then insisted I sand . The manager looked at me and said, "oh bloody lovely".

How could I say "NO!" ???

Instead I asked the opera dude if he had the backing for River Deep Mountain High , Tina Turners Version. He did. I sang. A crowd gathered. I still held the side of my mouth that was still totally numb. The Opera man asked if I would stay and sing 12 more. I said NO!...Thank you.

I have to go now, Mrs H want to check her e-mail and look at her farm Ville.

big love.

No comments: