"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SHOUTING!"

Everyone in McDonald's turned around and looked straight at John.

John, a mid thirty's man, in too tight skinny jeans and a pink polo shirt. Hes on his hands free while scoffing down a double cheese burger.

"I don't care how long it will take...just make sure its there when I get back"....John still not noticing that he is the centre of attention.

Mrs Brown sits close to John but not on the same table. We`re not sure if they know each other or not. She is facing him but not conversing with John. Mrs Brown was 23 when England last won the World Cup....(a clue on her age)

The twins, Bob and Sarah. Age 7. They run around still hungry after their Happy Meal. Demanding a Rolo Mc Flurry and a cake just like the one sitting on the table in front of John.

"I need it for work!" John, still shouting and eating and drinking.

A tall gentle man, dressed like the late Pavarotti enters with his arms wide and strong.

"GO COMPARE! GO COMPARE......"

John stands and headbutts the curly mustached man.... still dealing with 3 on his hands free.

The twins swing on both his arms like a jungle gym...while Mrs Brown stands....eyes up the goal...takes two steps back and visualizes Beckhams kicking technique in her head. She takes a good run up to the Balls.

* Lesson learnt today is- Don't Eat McDonald's, they make you want to Kill the man from the Go Compare advert. *

Comedy Event -MIXED MEDIA GOLD - 15 July 2010

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A comedy and music night on 15 July 2010.

Details below. starts at 8pm.

Limited seating so be there in plenty of time if you are interested!!!

******MIXED MEDIA GOLD IS BACK******

15 July 2010 at The Albany near Great Portland Street Station.

----------------10 acts------1 Night-------100% FUN!----------------

MMG is a night of BEST OF ALL! Film, Music, Magic, Comedy, Sexy Characters....we have it all!

THE LINE-UP :-
TOBY- Sisters Sarah and Lizzie perform inappropriate sketches in a bid to win their mothers`s attention.
BENNETT ARRON - Welsh, Jeswish Comic try some of his Edinburgh Show 2010
TJ HANBURY - Naughty Magician!
SUZI RUFFELL - Brilliant New popular comic on the circuit. One to keep an eye on!!!
Ben Kewin from COMEDY BITCH - trying out some of his Edinburgh Show 2010
SEGUE SISTERS - Singing the songs you love with a sexy Segue Twist
SHIRLEY WINDMILL- Does a little bit of Beautifully Naughty x
MIKE HAYLEY - Does his amazingly funny Character - Clovis Van Darkhelm!
Hosted by the MOONFISH RHUMBA - Funny, Musical naughty boys tease your senses and leave you wanting more and more.

*******************SPECIAL GUEST!!!!!!!!!*****************
All the way from Oz THE AMAZING - WAYNE DEAKIN!!!

A regular headliner at all Australian comedy venues, Wayne also tours constantly throughout the USA and Canada. Currently based in London, he works the Comedy Store, Jongleurs and Glee Clubs as well as touring Asia, the Middle East and the Isle of Man.

As well as his solo Melbourne Comedy Festival shows, His New York tours included consecutive nights at Carolines, New Yorks premier comedy venue and headlining New York Improv. Performing at the Montreal Comedy Festival and doing a week as MC at the world famous Laff Trax in Las Vegas are current career highlights. Wayne also performed in front of 14,000 people at the 2004 and 2006 Meredith Music Festival and 24,000 at 2005 The Falls Festival.

Wayne also tours with the Australian Defence Forces and British Army in East Timor, Sinai, Cyprus and various tours of the Middle East.

In 2007 Wayne toured Iraq and Afghanistan doing gigs for the diggers. As scary as it was edifying; it remains one of the best things Wayne has ever been involved in.

Wayne starred in and produced Channel 31's highest ever rating show, Tiger TV and can be seen on the Comedy Channel show "Stand Up Australia" and the American reality show "Last Comic Standing".

Wayne is also known as 'Deaks' performing weekly on the top rating "Hughsey & Kate" breakfast show on Nova 100 in Melbourne.

********************* WHAT A SHOW!!!!*********************

We would love to see you there; The Albany is a great venue and a wicked place to bring a girlfriend/boyfriend/lover/blind date/mistress/sugar daddy/G.P/Neighbour/Dad/Dad's boyfriend/imaginary Friend/spirit....beer.

Tickets are £8/ £7 with the pass word - SUGAR TITS

Facebook link - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=102599746457666

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